Building Self-Esteem In Children

Picture this, when you are born your self-esteem is at it's highest because we haven't had the time or the skills to damage it yet. The analogy that I like to use is that your self-esteem is like a bucket full of water; however each and every negative thing that we tell ourselves is like drilling holes in the bucket and before you know it, our self-esteem is low. Now, how can we build it back up? As a parent, our job is to build up our child's self-esteem because self-esteem develops before the age of 9. If a child has a good self-concept about himself he or she is more likely to achieve the goals he sets for himself. It is a known fact that kids who are told that they are stupid or won't amount to anything have a lower IQ. Also, if a child has a good self-esteem he or she is less likely to give in to peer pressure and less likely to ever start using drugs and alcohol. Why? because they don't need to alter their mood to feel good about themselves. Back to the question, how can we build up a child's self-esteem?

Here are 10 Ways to lmprove Children's Self'Worth
1. Put children in situations where they can succeed at doing what you want them to do. For instance, if a child is unsure of himself, give the child an opportunity to develop self-confidence by experiencing success, such as helping pick out fruits and vegetables, or pushing the shopping cart.
2. Expect the child to succeed in a small, specific situation. lf you expect children to succeed all the time in all situations, you will be very disappointed. lt is not a realist goal.
3. lf your child does not succeed in a specific situation, problem solve and determine what is undermining the child's attempts at success.
4.Every time you see your child behaving in the desired way, praise,him - and write it down.Try to remember other times in the past when you have seen the desired behavior and then you can have a list or a "story' of successes, You can either read this to the child when the child is feeling down, or use it as a bedtime power story so the child can go to sleep with this new and successful picture in his mind.
5.Praise him every time they are behaving. Tell someone else how the child is behaving, and make certain the child can hear you.
6. Act in a way you want your child to act, and then praise yourself for acting that way.
7.Visualize your child as already being the new positive label, and then relate to the child with the new label as part of the child.
8. Show respect for the child's feelings and opinions even though you might not agree with them. Honor your child's opinions and feelings by saying, "l can understand how you might feel this way." The child's feelings and opinions are a part of the child as much as your feelings and opinions are a part of you.
9. Be careful to give children comments on their strengths as well as on their weaknesses. Often we are so intent on helping children get rid of all their "bad" qualities that we neglect to comment on all the good ones we see. Keep track for a few days of the balance of your comments by dividing a sheet of paper into two columns; one labeled Strengths and the other labeled Weaknesses. Then put each comment in the appropriate side and see how you do. Try to have five to ten times the number of comments that focus on the Strengths.
10. Be patient. Change is an evolutionary process - not a revolutionary one. It takes time to change. Stay focused and above all, consistent.