Play Therapy Objectives and FAQ

What is Play Therapy? Play therapy is to children what counseling is to adults. Play therapy utilizes play, children's natural medium of expression, to help them express their feelings more easily through toys instead of words. Association for Play Therapy (APT) defines play therapy as "the systematic use of a theoretical model to establish an interpersonal process wherein trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties and achieve optimal growth and development." In the textbook Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (2nd ed.), Landreth (2002) defined child-centered play therapy: A dynamic interpersonal relationship between a child (or person of any age) and a therapist trained in play therapy procedures who provides selected play materials and facilitates the development of a safe relationship for the child (or person of any age) to fully express and explore self (feelings, thoughts, experiences, and behaviors) through play, the child's natural medium of communication, for optimal growth and development. (p. 16) Play Therapy Objectives The objectives of Child-Centered Play Therapy: 1. Develop a more positive self-concept 2. Resume greater self-responsibility 3. Become more self-directing 4. Become more self-accepting 5. Become more self-reliant 6. Engage in self-determined decision making 7. Experience a feeling of control 8. Become sensitive to the process of coping 9. Become an internal source of evaluation 10. Become more trusting of self Landreth, Garry, 1992. Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship Answers for Parents Does my child need play therapy? Throughout their lives, most children go through difficult times, such as the divorce of their parents, trouble making friends, or adjusting to changes at school or home. Some children need more help than others to get through these times. If you or other adults in your child's life are concerned about your child's behavior, play therapy can help. It is the most appropriate treatment for helping your child work through difficult times and helping you gain a better understanding of what your child is going through. What toys are in a play room and why? Toys are carefully selected for the play therapy room to facilitate creative and emotional expression from children. The types of toys used can be played with in many ways and therefore allow for decision-making in children. They are also very durable and sturdy to allow for repeated use and rough play. Why play therapy? Play Therapy is the most appropriate method of treatment for children who are having difficulties coping with life situations. Though children lack the cognitive skills to express themselves with words, they are fluent in the language of play. Play therapy allows them to express themselves in the way in which they are most comfortable. How long does a child receive play therapy? The length of time a child is seen in play therapy varies from child to child. It depends upon the severity of the trauma, the child's personality, and how the child perceived the trauma. This can be discussed with your child's play therapist during consultation times. What's the difference between play therapy and playing with my child at home? Play therapists are specifically trained to provide an environment of acceptance, empathy and understanding in the play therapy room. Play therapy is not the same thing as playing. Play therapy uses the child's natural tendency to "play out" their reactions to life situations, in the presence of a trained play therapist, to help the child feel accepted and understood and gain a sense of control or understanding of difficult situations. How much does play therapy typically cost? The cost of play therapy varies dramatically depending upon geographical location, type of organization, insurance coverage, and availability of play therapy providers. Some insurance companies provide full or partial coverage for play therapy, however not all facilities or play therapists accept insurance as payment for services. Some providers offer sliding payment scales based upon financial need of the client. Contact play therapists directly for specific information regarding costs. What is group play therapy? Group play therapy is similar to individual play therapy in many ways, but is different in that usually between 2 and 4 children spend their play therapy time together with one play therapist. Group play therapy provides children with the opportunity to learn and practice social skills in situations that are very similar to real life social situations. Can I watch my child in play therapy? Just as a counselor who works with adults keeps the information shared in sessions confidential, your child's play therapist will keep the information from their sessions confidential (exceptions apply). However, he or she will meet with you periodically to discuss your child's play in general themes, hear your concerns, and talk about any questions you may have related to your child's progress in play therapy. I'm in a custody battle over my child; Can play therapy help my child? The play therapy environment is a place where children are accepted and understood. Many children caught in the middle of a custody battle experience lots of feelings, such as anger, fear, and uncertainty. Due to changes at home, children may not feel safe to express their emotions to their parents. Play therapy provides a safe place for children to express these emotions to an accepting and understanding person. Can a play therapist tell me if my child has been abused? Through the course of building a relationship and engaging in the process of play therapy, your child's play therapist will watch for themes in your child's play. Over time and across sessions, your child's play therapist may be able to observe enough information to either support or contradict an assumption you may have regarding abuse of your child. Retrieved from http://cpt.unt.edu/about-us/faq/parents-faq/ on 6/12/10

What is Play Therapy?

What is Play Therapy? Play therapy is to children what counseling is to adults. Play therapy utilizes play, children's natural medium of expression, to help them express their feelings more easily through toys instead of words. Association for Play Therapy (APT) defines play therapy as "the systematic use of a theoretical model to establish an interpersonal process wherein trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties and achieve optimal growth and development." In the textbook Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (2nd ed.), Landreth (2002) defined child-centered play therapy: A dynamic interpersonal relationship between a child (or person of any age) and a therapist trained in play therapy procedures who provides selected play materials and facilitates the development of a safe relationship for the child (or person of any age) to fully express and explore self (feelings, thoughts, experiences, and behaviors) through play, the child's natural medium of communication, for optimal growth and development. (p. 16)

What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one – and this type of loss does often cause the most intense grief. Often we feel a deep or intense sorrow or distress when there is a death of someone. We might ask ourselves, why is this so painful but the pain is so intense because we loved them so much. There are many factors that effect how we grieve? Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors: your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, your support system, and the nature of the loss. Do we all people grieve the same? Definitely No. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried – and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. Some people grieve in a healthy manner by attending counseling, using their supports to get them through the rough days, journaling and just allowing themselves to feel the pain. On the opposite side of the spectrum, some people do not grieve in a healthy manner. Grief will catch up with you so it’s best to work through it. The Analogy I like to use is: Grief comes in one size, Extra Large. If we tuck it away in the bottom drawer where it never sees the light of day, it remains exactly the same. On the other hand, if we wear it, feel it, talk about it and share it with others, it is likely that it will become faded, shrunk and worn, or will simply no longer fit. When grief has served its purpose, we are able to recognize the many gifts we have gained. If we don't grieve, it will manifest itself through our behavior and emotions. Some examples are self-harming, abusing alcohol & drugs, committing suicide, acting out by getting in trouble with the law or denial. What happens if we don’t grieve appropriately? It only gets more difficult with every loss thereafter. Past unresolved grief: Each grief reaction in the person's past life that has not been fully resolved has left as a residue unresolved strong emotions. The person himself may have forgotten the cause of the grief, but the emotions surrounding the grief are eternal. Ordinarily, unresolved past grief will be triggered by a similar present loss, and will be experienced at the same time. Even to the person himself, the power of a grief where a past loss is acting as a "multiplier" can be surprising to the point of being shocking or even lead the person to fear that he may be going insane. For example, if a person's wife died ten years ago, but for some reason the grief was never resolved, and his pet canary dies, a grief reaction of great intensity may begin. As the person grieves for his canary, his wife is also being mourned. Again, if we don't allow ourselves to grief it will manifest itself physically, emotionally, cognitively and/or behaviorally. Grief counseling in corpus christi, tx

Stages of Grief by Elizabeth Kubler Ross

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

7 Stages of Grief...

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

5 Love languages that are important for your relationship:

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller! Words of Affirmation—Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Assessments

retrieved from http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

10 Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief

Keep in mind, context, timing and who is saying them is everything!

The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief:

* At least he lived a long life, many people die young
* He is in a better place
* She brought this on herself
* There is a reason for everything
* Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for a while now
* You can have another child still
* He was such a good person
* God wanted him to be with him
* I know how you feel
* He did what he came here to do and it was his time to go
* Be strong

The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief:

* I am so sorry for your loss.
* I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
* I don’t know how you feel, but I am here If can help in anyway.
* You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
* My favorite memory of your loved one is...
* I am always just a phone call away
* Give a hug instead of saying something
* We all need help at times like this, I am here for you
* I am usually up early or late, if you need anything
* Saying nothing, just be with the person

Many of us have said "The Best" and "The Worst." We meant no harm, in fact the opposite. We were trying to comfort. A grieving person may say one of the worst ones about themselves and it’s ok. It may make sense for a member of the clergy to say, "He is in a better place" when someone comes to them for guidance. Where as an acquaintance saying it may not feel good.

Here are some of the traits that make the best, "The Best" and the worst, "The Worst".

Traits of the Worst Ones

* They want to fix the loss
* They are about our discomfort
* They are directive in nature
* They rationalize or try to explain, loss
* They may be judgmental
* Not about griever
* May minimize the loss
* Put a time line on loss

Traits of the Best Ones

* Supportive, but not trying to fix it
* About feelings
* Non active, not telling anyone what to do
* Admitting can’t make it better
* Not asking for something or someone to change feelings
* Recognize loss
* Not time limited

By Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler
On Grief and Grieving, Simon & Shuster
grief.com

Never Give Up!