What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one – and this type of loss does often cause the most intense grief. Often we feel a deep or intense sorrow or distress when there is a death of someone. We might ask ourselves, why is this so painful but the pain is so intense because we loved them so much. There are many factors that effect how we grieve? Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors: your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, your support system, and the nature of the loss. Do we all people grieve the same? Definitely No. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried – and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. Some people grieve in a healthy manner by attending counseling, using their supports to get them through the rough days, journaling and just allowing themselves to feel the pain. On the opposite side of the spectrum, some people do not grieve in a healthy manner. Grief will catch up with you so it’s best to work through it. The Analogy I like to use is: Grief comes in one size, Extra Large. If we tuck it away in the bottom drawer where it never sees the light of day, it remains exactly the same. On the other hand, if we wear it, feel it, talk about it and share it with others, it is likely that it will become faded, shrunk and worn, or will simply no longer fit. When grief has served its purpose, we are able to recognize the many gifts we have gained. If we don't grieve, it will manifest itself through our behavior and emotions. Some examples are self-harming, abusing alcohol & drugs, committing suicide, acting out by getting in trouble with the law or denial. What happens if we don’t grieve appropriately? It only gets more difficult with every loss thereafter. Past unresolved grief: Each grief reaction in the person's past life that has not been fully resolved has left as a residue unresolved strong emotions. The person himself may have forgotten the cause of the grief, but the emotions surrounding the grief are eternal. Ordinarily, unresolved past grief will be triggered by a similar present loss, and will be experienced at the same time. Even to the person himself, the power of a grief where a past loss is acting as a "multiplier" can be surprising to the point of being shocking or even lead the person to fear that he may be going insane. For example, if a person's wife died ten years ago, but for some reason the grief was never resolved, and his pet canary dies, a grief reaction of great intensity may begin. As the person grieves for his canary, his wife is also being mourned. Again, if we don't allow ourselves to grief it will manifest itself physically, emotionally, cognitively and/or behaviorally. Grief counseling in corpus christi, tx